I underestimate how much effort it takes to properly look after myself. And it’s not ‘cause I’m some sort of diva *reaches for my Pina Colada* (really, it’s not!).
I just carry on oblivious, caught up in the whirlwind of my life. Forgetful. Well, there’s no other choice some days. I’m continually trying not to die (aren’t we all!). But let’s not concern ourselves with that, look there’s a pile of washing to be done. You see that pile of dishes, and the piles of life admin. Oh, and what shall we have for dinner, on repeat, every day, like a broken record.
And let’s not mention keeping Boy Child alive, clean, fed, and listening to his beautiful, but unending, words. Like: “Can I show you, x, y, z.” or “So, me and *friend* were wondering if we can organise a *insert fun activity for child that takes 20 WhatsApp messages to arrange*?
The addendum is often me.
It’s like fluff gathering in your trouser pockets (or in Boy Child’s case, the rubber bands, and bolts, tissues and Pokemon cards). It’s all collecting - all the medicine taking, the lack of time for self-care, poor or constant diabetes management, hypos, tiredness. And then later the trousers of my life get washed, along with all the other life laundry, and boom. There’s all the stress, clogging up the filter in my brand-new washing machine. No wonder the last one broke!
This fluff needs a filter. I need a filter and I forget this so often. I forget that it takes so much effort to manage, not just my Type 1 diabetes, but the many other chronic conditions I’ve developed.
I forget I must actively keep myself alive every day: well technically my insulin does that, but I’m the one doing the leg work here! And with that I forget the constant and unending living on the edge of my blood sugars – are they high, low, what am I doing in an hour, OMG, I shouldn’t have had the cake! And I forget how tired that makes me feel. Oh, now wait, is it this that’s making me tired, or the recently diagnosed B12/Pernicious Anaemia? Or maybe this Sjogren's Syndrome?
I don’t know – do you? *Shrug*. Well we’re screwed then.
Except we’re not. Not if we keep up with the filtering.
I need the filters I’ve been working to put into my life in recent years. Wait - ssssh, I’m having my afternoon siesta. Wheesht, I’m meditating. No, leave me alone, I’m reading. Writing. Cooking. They’re all filters to catch the fluff of stress, anxiety, constant attention, pain, work angst. Whatever you maybe living with, you need those filters in your life!
But the thing is I’m not very good at it.
I’ve just spent four weeks on a Diabetes Mental Health course, looking at how to stop yourself from exploding ‘The Fizz’, and how to distract, deal with, and work through thoughts, feelings and emotions, especially in relation to managing a chronic condition.
I need to find more filters. I need more outlets. I need more fun.
We all need these things to help our mental health. Not just me with my chit-chatter of managing chronic conditions. We all need to look after our mental health better. We’ve just spent the past two years in a state of high anxiety – it’s time to find your filters and cleanse the fluff of your life our every day.
I’m worth it. You’re worth it. We all deserve to live our best life, whatever that looks like for us.
So here, are my top tips for finding your filters
1. No act of self care is too small – It doesn’t matter if it’s one minute of closing your eyes and breathing, lying on the bed for ten, or stretching for half an hour. Nothing is too small to give yourself some space to clear your head.
2. Get outside as much as possible - Try to be outside for as long as you can in a day. Schedule it in if you must, walk with a friend at lunch, take a walk around the block at tea-break, stand at your door and breathe in fresh air at the end of your day. It’s a medicine, promise!
3. Give your brain some space – For me this comes in the form of meditation, for you it might be in running, yoga, gardening, crosswords, Wordle, or immersing yourself in a book. Whatever it is, do it regularly, even daily. Your poor wee brain needs some space from thinking, and best way to do that is to give it something to do! Meditate, and focus on your breath. Run, and focus on the world, or your legs moving. Read and focus on the words.
4. Limit your time on your phone – Hey, I’m just saying. You can take this or leave it. But it’s proven that being on your phone, and especially social media, with it’s Refresh Feed and typing ellipses… is just hook, line and sinker to taking up your attention. If you disagree, watch The Social Dilemma on Netflix and then argue with me. Use that time to do more of #3
5. Surround yourself with love – Whether that’s your pet, your pals, or your family. Be kind to each other, love, chat, eat together, go for walks. Be with those you love and fill your heart.