Un-celebrating ten years keeping myself alive, with cake and a softer outlook on life. Appreciate the present for it is all we have. And if you live in the Upper World, appreciate that too.
Read MoreUn-celebrating - ten years keeping myself alive
Why I've cancelled my 10k fundraiser - and what I'm doing instead
Why I've cancelled my 10k fundraiser - and what I'm doing instead
Read MoreFour things I learned...while I was sick
It all started with a bloody nose which led to a cough. Soon, it turned into a chest infection. I kept working through it, as I always do. But was this really the best course of action, and what could I learn from being sick instead?
Read More365 days later
I miss drinking. I really do.
Read MoreLoneliness
It’s lonely here. Do you find that?
Read MoreWhat did you do last night?
So it feels like I’m leaving the Matrix. Humans unknowingly trapped, this time, in a haze of advertising and peer pressure. A never-ending cocktail of a system that thrives off your purchase power and dopamine….
Read MoreFind your filters…how helping your head collects the fluff of stress
How finding your filters can help collect the fluff of stress for better mental health and ease
Read MoreSeven Year Skin
Apparently, your whole being regenerates every seven years. I don’t know where I read that, and whether it’s true or not. I quite like the notion though. What I know for a fact however, is that seven years to the day since my life was turned upside down I feel like I live in a different skin.
Read MoreBeing OK takes time..
in diabetes
There comes a point with every transition in life where it is OK, or rather, it’s as OK as it can be, and that mostly comes through time.
Read MoreDear Son, sorry for my T1 diabetes
Your comments rolled around my head and have sat heavy in my heart.They are part of a collection now; a negative narrative of the part of your young life that I wish I could take away but can’t.
Read MoreHow meditation helped T1D diagnosis - and my mental health
Never before was my need to remove my brain greater than after my Type 1 diabetes diagnosis. I was scared and tired. I wanted to hide from my body and its thoughts. Crawling under the sheets didn’t cut it. Running away wasn’t an option. Not giving myself insulin would kill me. The ‘I’ that ‘I’ was trying to escape was still there despite my best efforts to hide from her: my body and mind were at odds to cope with the adverse conditions they found themselves in, like a small fishing boat in a Force 10 gale off the Outer Hebrides.
Read MoreSquaring the circle: my two year diaversary
On this day two years ago, I was admitted to the hospital where I spend the first night of my diabetes journey, alone, scared and sick, hooked up to a variety of drips, including my new life-saving drug, insulin. It was the second most horrible night of my life.
Read MoreEducation lets the sunshine in
After four and a half intense days, I packed up after our last session and drove home through sunshine so wide it seemed bigger than the sky and I cried. I sobbed so much I had to park the car until I had stopped.
Read More“Remember that it’s all in your head” - Gorillaz
“At least you've not got cancer”, a few people said to me after word of my diagnosis had got around. Or the more drastic: “It could be worse, you could be dead”.
On a bad day, I’d argue that these statements themselves disallowed me any level of suffering at all, implying I should just wheesht and get on with it. On a good day, I learned to just nod and “Yes, that is true”. Which it was, don’t get me wrong. Of course I preferred the alternative to death.
Read MoreSo! What is a hypo then?
Imagine for a moment you’re scared, your heart rate starts racing. Maybe you’re in the woods alone and you hear a stick crack somewhere behind you, footsteps crunching through the dead leaves
Read MoreSanta brings a New Type One Plan
I had tried to leave my diabetes at home when I went on holiday. This was the start of the end, just before the New Plan. Reading my journals back I can see now that I was in denial. It had been two months of up and downs. I wanted off the rollercoaster ride, refused to accept what was happening to my body, wanted life to carry on as normal.
Read MoreStop the ride, I want to get off
I thought I was doing all I could. I sat with an attentive ear at my hospital appointments. The nurse said she’d never seen someone with so many notepads.
Read MoreStop being a perfectionist
Now on that first Monday, a dreary November day, my nurse was telling me I may feel better by Christmas but that it could take longer. I explained that life was ruled by the diary not to mention a small child and a business – I needed to be better. I’m a perfectionist. That’s when she mentioned “flexibility”. I winced.
Read MoreDitzy? What me!
Ditzy is not a word I’d use to describe myself. Yet the other day I put the milk in the cupboard. I was 15 minutes late for a business meeting. I misplace things. And while my list making continues, it is, sadly, not with such glee. I’m starting to think I might have to reassess my view of myself.
Read More